the troubling heart of renee laci

I've been so mopey and soundless lately. I feel as if I just ruined everything and then I feel like that I could do something to make it better, but I don't know what to do. I know I've been typing nothing but boyfriend problems within this month, but it won't get out of my head. I mean I think I ruined something so I shall fix it!... After I get my grades straight. Yes all a pluses this time to make my dad proud of me. hmm... what to do to fix this problem in my boyfriend and my relationship? To make it feel like the way it is suppose to be... Be more interesting?... Well there's telling a million stories or talking about school... if we went to the same school. We should hang out more! that's it! Though he is most of the time busy, but not too busy to text me. > u  > Hmmm... I want to hang out with him next weekend! I wanna ask when I finished my homework after school!
Other then that, I walked to school today and it was FREAKING cold... My eyes were red and my hair was out of wack when I got to the school. AGAIN. :/ nnn... I've been warming up for twenty minutes or so and still a little cold. now I am in the library doodling on my Valentine's sketch. I'm not sure why my boyfriend is on almost every picture in this sketchbook. (Because he's so sexy looking. X3)
I had this dream, where I was taking the guy that my best friend liked and in the end I asked if I liked my boyfriend now or not... It was so... bad. I would never do that! The taking the crush from best friend thing. It was horrible! But I do question if he still likes me or not. Showing my true self takes a lot and if he breaks that my heart.... I won't be depressed. (Okay I'm lying REALLY badly) but I wouldn't neglect my studies or anything, but it would hurt... Of course it would. espeically when you want to lie so bad that you can't do it without crying. you wish it was a lie. but in the end. it's not. not at all. you really do love him don't you?....

the normal post of renee laci

I haven't typed here in awhile and figured I started just typing nonsense during this month. =^= So time to have a nice short cool post.
My day just started now in first period of class and listening to m-flo and calm just thinking about how things would go this year. I think it will be a free period this first period again and time to work my butt off 2nd period and so on. I really hate that I'm wearing this shirt today I can't wear hear because I think it'll be hot later on so... I wore those spagetthi strap shirts with a jacket to school. The second reason was that I was too lazy to find another shirt for school other then this one. I realized that I get report cards next period. I'm scared... I'm not sure if I passed all my classes and if I did, I'm so glad because I could have more privielages to do other things.

Other then that,Udoli. I need to work on it bad. I'm really itching to just doll myself up and take pictures, but I can never have the time to or I'm sick ( Like now) I've been trying to figure out what brands would fit the amahle and insikamuntu style. I know that you could sort out your own clothes and style up something from that which may be better than going by brands. I really need help on that. TAT
I found this really cute website too~
http://www.meomi.com/
and this other one
http://www.icecreamdrops.com/
They have very cute stuff there~
-tori

the disappointment of renee laci

=^= this is great. The day before I visit my boyrfriend, I'm sick... I'm not just sick but DEAD sick. Happened in two days. The first day I thought it was nothing. Then the second I was kind of worried but didn't do much about it. Now, I'm ill with all the other ill people at school. This is freaking awesome.
I'm so flipping mad right now.
I have to get better by tomorrow or else... I'll be very upset and sad. I can't really talk because of my burning throat and my permanent blush is replaced with a flaming hot cheeks of sickness. I still have to go to school or I'm in big trouble with the attendance teacher... I've missed five days already (better than last year) and can't miss anymore until the 2nd semester starts. Curse you sickness!! DX Salt water nor honey helped. Or my inhaler. Everything is just falling downhill. I want to eat more like some chicken and rice though I can't... since I ate it all yesterday. That's another thing, I feel so good while eating so much and I call myself a fat pig afterwards. I'm skinny, I just eat way too much sometimes... and then I check my weight and it magically still stays at 120... or lowers to 111. My weight is weird now because it never goes above 120. Well maybe a few points up but not that much. I don't excerise much but I do have random hyper moments and lose something from there. And that's how I stay skinny...
I really hope this sickness can disappear like tomorrow morning or so. DX I really don't want to say "Sorrys [/coughcough] I'mma sooow siccks... TAT" and I don't want to do that Sunday either. Yeah two parties is too much for me, but I just decided to go just to get out of the house. Well anyway I'm done for now. ^^ [/coughcough] =A= uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
-tori

the twirling day of renee lacy

Today I couldn't think straight for a second. I had a test that I might have failed and could not work fast enough on the make up test that everyone in the class had to do. My mind has been in it's happy little wonderland all day and dreading for when my mom ruins it. IF she ruins it. Okay here is the story, last night on a school night I talked to my bf for 4 hours. 4 hours of heaven~ * O * [/cough cough] Anyway... I realized in the middle of the conversation, my mom came home from work... She was cancelled. She stayed downstairs so I didn't tell him that I had to go. Then she was in the next room playing on the computer during the other half of the conversation which really didn't need to be heard... I really hope she doesn't ask me about that today. If she does I might just explode and hide in a corner. She'll either tease me or ground me or think I'm more weird then I already am. I really don't care about that last part, but I do care about her grounding me if she is that strict or gives me the "talk". AGAIN. So it's been in my head all day and during the school hours I have done nothing but a test, talking in Spanish and had a weird and awkward conversation about really unapporiate things but I talked back this time... Which is so awkward. And I finished the other half of my review which I started earlier yesterday and skipped the questions I didn't know which is 3 or 4 out of 18 questions. I can't wait until we go over them so I can understand the questions that I do not know so I can pass my Math final on Wednesday. I also drew all day of a couple picture, a ID picture and a emotional picture. I wanted to draw more on my music picture, but it looks so awkward that well... I didn't get to that page. I'm almost done with my cute couple picture and the emotional picture is no where near finished and the ID picture I added so much to that I love to fill the whole page and post it on deviantart and ask for critques. There are a few twqueeks that I need to make but that's okay.
I'm so worried of what might happen later on with my life. I can't focus on school like I normally do during second semesters. My brain is talking to me(CRAZY~...) about my best friend being a little off and then other things that changed within the household and this weekend and hiding stuff from my family even though they most likely already know and etc etc.
So many things to think about at the beginning of 2010 though this may be my annoying teenage phase which I was warned of when I was little. I'm hitting to the stage where EVERYTHING about me is important as I was told and I think it's just me learning new things and acting like a baby. This phase will pass sooner or later and I will rock at 10th grade and go on to 11th grade and learn how to drive during the summer and continue to be "awesome" according to a ceratin someone. They know who they are.
This was a long blog post which I rarely do or ever. I'm still in class right now "learning".
I have something else to type to. If you would like to continue reading then you can if you're tired of my rambling then stop now for this post will be more weird. Or I can just type this in another post which is what I will do. It is one of my weird dreams~ OOO~
-tori

the little thought from renee laci

I was looking through my diary, my old blog posts and thinking about I was before January 1st where I finally can say I'm taken and happy with him too. I was... so sad and stupid. Yes stupid. I still think talking about my problems is complaining and don't like that. I don't want to complain to people again. But isn't that not selfish? I guess I've been called selfish so much that it's taking over me. I let people run over me and feel bad after since I didn't get my way, but glad the other person got their way. I hate to be led... I really do and tired of being led into some crap that I don't want to do. I feel bad now.... Ugh...
-tori

the cosplay plan of renee laci #1

I do have a cosplay blog though I'm leaking such things in here in my regular blog.
I'm not sure what to cosplay as for this year's anime convention though I know what to cosplay as for Halloween~
Taokaka from Blazblue.
I said I wanted to be a cat, but I dont want to be just a regular cat. Taokaka is awesome, my favorite character from the game and well is half cat or what ever she is. ^ u ^

Cute looking right? The mask and the braids wouldn't be that hard to make and find. The shoe covers come with but I'm not really worrying about this that much.

The thing Im worrying about is what to cosplay as in June. There's so many anime characters I would like to cosplay but all are...
I just keep changing my mind about it.
Making a list doesnt work because the list is so long.
Hmm. I have the Shakugan no Shana costume I haven't wore yet. I wonder. I would like to be Maya Natsume from Tenjho Tenge, but... I don't have some things that she has.... Like... I'm a stick and she's not. 

so I have to think of something else. I would say cosplay as her sister though I can't really.... Hmm. May be a small loli character would do.
Kurimu- Seitokai
Alice- Pandora Hearts
Kanako or Shinobu- Love Hina ( Just thought of that as I stare at the book beside me.)
I'm not sure of anything else right now. I'll update this entry later on. ^^
-tori
Taokaka(c)  Blazblue creators
Maya Natsume(c) Oh! Great (Tenjho Tenge creator)

the awkward morning of renee laci

 This morning was awkward yet again. I have a sister that may go against me and my best friend hasn't talked to me for days. I always say I'm texting to her on the phone though we all know that it isn't her. I'm just not sure about my mother though. These last few days have been interesting and the school days are slowly getting faster. It must be just the easy days from coming back. Next week is finals and we get off earlier starting next Wednesday.
I know I can't wait for this week to end though I am kind of nervous too
-tori

the blushing red face of renee laci

Hmm~ This break went very well. I liked the ending of it best.
The first two days of school I was waking up later as I didn't want to go to school every morning. It was always so cold when I got up and made me even more sleepy.
Can you believe I blushed so much that I got a little headache. XD I'm such a slow person... Well anyways,
it seems that everyone else's break was okay. I'm happy!~. My new year's resolution is pretty difficult to accomplish and think about as I study for finals and TAKS. >A< So nervous!!!
-tori